AQ
These are questions. You ask them. Their frequency is IRRELEVANT.
Emergency Banana Productions
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Q: What is Emergency Banana Productions?
A: It started out as a domain name that Mechlord bought as a joke after carving “FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY” on the side of a banana. God of Pie then nicked it and convinced Azarov to start putting some of his drawings on the interwebs. It started out as a way of showcasing Jeff’s Pie Shop, but also runs several other comics and fillers as well, since JPS takes about two weeks to draw per strip. We swear that one day they will all be in seperate archives. Maybe.
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Q: Can I put my comic/animation/whatever on EBP?
A: Send us an introductory email at jeffspieshop[at]yahoo[dot]com[dot]au, explaining your ideas and stuff, preferably with some sample comics or episodes for us. If we like it, we might put it on the site. Don’t expect anything for a while, though, we’re still working out how to use WordPress.
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Q: What about guest comics/scripts/fanart?
A: No need for warnings — just send ‘em in ! If you draw us a funny comic which is consistent with the characters, we’ll put it on the site. Well-drawn fanart or well-drawn but unfunny comics will go in the fanart section, which doesn’t exist yet. Good guest scripts or poorly drawn but funny guest comics will be drawn up by Azarov (hopefully). If it’s unfunny and badly-drawn, then we will dump it, but politely. We’re not too fussy about quality of drawing or humour — if it makes us smile and looks better than those weird stick figures of God of Pie’s, then by all means it will be accepted. And be sure to tell us your website or blog when you send us the stuff so that we can plug you.
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Q: Will you guys ever have a forum?
A: Not in the foreseeable future. I (God of Pie) personally prefer the accept/reject comments system we have up now, because that way we can screen our comments for spam or incomprehensible 13375p34k.
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Q: What is your policy for accepting/rejecting comments?
A: We will accept any comment as long as it is eloquent. You can send us hate mail which questions our sanity, parentage and hygiene and we will accept it, as long as it’s eloquent and written in plain English (or plain Russian, in which case Azarov98 will provide a translation for Mechlord and God of Pie to gawk at). In fact, if you have something nasty to say and can’t keep it to yourself, we’d encourage you to say it on this site rather than elsewhere on the nets, because it’s more honest that way. If it’s particularly scathing or questions our political views, we may even respond to it in the blog.
Conversely, if you send us an absolute love letter but it’s written in incomprehensible 13375p34k, don’t bother waiting for it to pop up in the recent comments box. If your comment is comprehensible but loaded with ads (this means you strange Russian people) then we will delete the ads. The system may be a little biased (we’re more willing to accept comments from friends or people who love us) but all systems are if the postmodernists are to be believed.
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Q: Will you go out with me?
GOD OF PIE: Nobody has ever asked any of the EBP crew this question. I wish they would.
AZAROV98: Only if you are a fire extinguisher.
MECHLORD: Go out is go. Mercury, not.
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Jeff’s Pie Shop
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Q: What is Jeff’s Pie Shop?
A: It’s a non-proudly Australian-made webcommiec. It’s only in its infancy now (as it has been for about a year), but we plan it to spread its wings and cross many genres, over the hills and far away into the galaxies, until it breaks the speed of light and brings about the end of the universe as we know it. Hopefully, the next universe will be better and feature more cheese (as God of Pie would like).
It’s distinctly left-wingy, though not necessarily in the conventional way. If it was, it’d be boring.
We also have a hilarious blog, where God of Pie and Mechlord wile away the lonely hours while waiting for azarov98 to DRAW THE NEXT COMIC hint hint. Our blog-chive begins hereabouts.
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Q: How is Jeff’s Pie Shop created?
A: First of all, the script is written by Azarov98 or God of Pie, or both. Then the borders, text and speech bubbles are penned in by Azarov98, and only then are the pictures drawn; first pencilled, then inked with “artliners”. Then it’s scanned into the computer and any messy spots are cleaned up with Paint. Then it goes on the site.
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Q: When/how did it originate?
A: Pahiheron has been around since about the end of the last millennium (created during the first of Azarov98 and family’s ritual holiday stays in Blackheath, Blue Mountains). It is possible that his physical appearance was influenced by the Moomins, but nothing in common besides.
Minnurt came about on the second such holiday a year later (Jan 2002).
Dan was invented after the last day of a school term on 26 June 2006 (when Azarov98 was lightning-struck by the notion of an environmentalist environmental pest), closely followed by Rad (shades of Pinocchio, bah!).
The idea of combining these four characters in a comic came about on the evening of 8 June 2007, when Newcastle and the Central Coast got a bit wet. Some archetypal comics were drawn, but these were later, er, misplaced (well, they weren’t too great anyway…)
In February 2008, when God of Pie was hopelessly addicted to webcomics, he rung up Azarov98 and suggested resurrecting it as a webcommiec on his and his mates’ website (as often is the case). The first “proper” strip (Looney Campaign) was drawn by Azarov98 in Blackheath (where else?) in April 2008.
The first three strips were put online in September 2008, marking the start of a grand new era.
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Q: What is your update schedule?
A: Our update schedule is measured in a timescale known as the “Melbournian Sunday.” Apparently, in Melbourne, “Sunday” refers to “sometime in the next coupla days, maybe.”
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Q: What is the readership of Jeff’s Pie Shop?
A: Three. The mighty Webcomiclist, a Neurophagus archaedes and Kim Jong-il. Any other readers are figments of your imagination.
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The Internet Is Not For Fun
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Q: What is TIINFF?
A: It’s another comic, which chronicles the, er, chronicles of Pahiheron’s married life. Also featuring are his wife Ventralia Gozmypp the Skeletonn, and their spoilt son Fufik Gozmypp-Allardanx, a bizarre Severan-Skeletonn hybrid who upon his birth immediately inspired no less than seven religions devoted to strict interspecies abstinence. At least one of these religions is believed to be following James T. Kirk around with some very nice assassination gear.
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Q: How does this relate to JPS?
A: To be honest, we’re not sure. Is it before Pahi and Minnurt came to Earth, or even met? Is it soon after their landing? Or is it after Pahi graduated from the Uni of Novacastria? Who can say? The best bet is to plump for “alternate timeline” and leave well enough alone.